Ada: My guests today are Dianne E. Butts and Renee Gray-Wilburn, co-authors of the book, Grandparenting Through Obstacles. Grandpa and Grandma need wisdom for this phase of life, just as they needed it in parenting. This book helps us understand what to do with the challenges we face as grandparents.
Or by request at your favorite bookstore.
About the Authors:
REACHING GRANDCHILDREN FOR
CHRIST
1. How many grandchildren do you have among
you and what is the range of their ages?
RENEE: Dianne and I
are not grandparents, that’s why we called in the experts to help us write our
book—real grandparents (20 in all) from around the country who have been
through some real-life challenges in trying to impart their faith to their
grandkids.
DIANNE: The way I see it, being a writer is being a
servant. We not only serve the needs of our readers, but we help others share
their stories. Many of the twenty true stories in our book were contributed by
writers, but some people needed help getting their story written. And all of
the contributors needed someone to conceive of, head up the project and pull it
together. That’s what Renee and I did. We also added a lot at the end of each
chapter, including Points to Ponder, Steps to Take, Scriptures to Study, and
One Way to Pray. All the applications we added at the end of the chapters are
related to topics inspired by the story. Renee and I each have a passion for
seeing individuals know Jesus as Christ, so it’s a natural fit, even though
we’re not grandparents ourselves. So that’s how we wrote a grandparenting book
even though neither one of us is a grandparent.
2. How do grandparents wisely show their love
and the importance of living for Jesus?
Dianne: I think in every story in the book readers will see
first and foremost the grandparent living their lives with Jesus being of prime
importance to them. After that, it’s natural to want to share with others what
is most important to you, so wanting to share Christ with the people we love is
showing them love. The inspiring part comes in the how-to’s! Just how do we
show the importance of living for Jesus? Well the answers to that in this book
are very creative. We have grandparents who designed Christian “camp”
experiences for their grandkids. The grandkids come to their house for a week
or weekend in the summer and they have their own Christian camp with activities
and crafts and games and Bible study, of course. We have grannies who got web
cams and learned how to Skype so they could be part of their long-distance
grandkids’ lives. We have families who do missions trips and others who take
the grandkids on vacation to Christian destinations, such as a creation museum.
There are as many ways to wisely show love and the importance of living for
Jesus as there are grandparents!
3. Do we need to pray circles around their
every activity, or is it sufficient to just ask God to bless them?
RENEE: Personally, I believe in praying specifically,
using God’s Word when we pray. Our faith is based on His Word, and He tells us
in Isaiah that His Word will never return to Him void. The way it returns to
Him is through our prayers. The more specific we can get, the more we can
target our faith and have confidence in our prayers. There is a certain place
for speaking blessings over your children and grandchildren, but that’s a
different scenario than praying for them for specific activities,
relationships, their walk with God, and so forth.
4. Do you advise praying for their friends,
their enemies, their teachers, those in the media who influence them? How and
why? Do you worry about undermining what parents and teachers say that is at
odds with faith?
DIANNE: Of course we should pray over all those things. I love
Francine Duckworth’s story “G & G Retreat” because Francine brought her
granddaughter into her home for a whole summer and they did a spiritual retreat
for just the two of them. While the granddaughter was allowed to go out with
friends for fun like shopping or movies, Francine demanded equal time. If the
granddaughter went to the movies, Francine got the same amount of time with her
for discipleship training. Francine was concerned with competing with the world
and its alluring pleasures. Her granddaughter is grown now and Francine has
seen the fruit of that retreat in her life.
As for
undermining parents, Part 4 in the book is all about “Partnering with Parents.”
The stories in this section talk about learning how to work with the parents
without stepping over that hazy boundary of going too far. It’s a difficult
walk, and no one does it perfectly. But these grandparents have learned from
their successes as well as their mistakes, and they share what they’ve learned.
5. Do you pray for the person they are dating,
or will marry? Have you seen results of your prayers? Be as specific as you
can.
RENEE: I currently pray for the future spouses of my
children. They are 15, 11, and 7 years old. None of them are dating yet! But if
they were, I’d be praying even harder! This is an absolute. Eventually they
will want to settle down with one person for all of eternity—I better get God
involved in helping them make the choice of who that person will be and making
sure that is His will for them.
6. How does a grandparent approach spiritual
matters with a grandchild, especially when they don’t see one another often?
What do you do when parents object?
DIANNE: Part 2 of the book deals with long-distance
relationships and shows how these grandparents are finding creative ways to
bridge the gaps. From Skyping to traveling great distances to sending books
with a Christian world view, these grandparents are finding ways to make it
work.
Part 1 of the
book (there are four Parts with five stories in each Part), is all about “The
Challenge of Parents Not Walking With God.” Our first story hits the nail on
the head for your question. When the parents and grandkids came to visit
Marilyn for a rare visit from a foreign country, the kids’ mother had an angry
outburst and threatened never to visit again when Marilyn answered the
children’s questions about God. Marilyn humbled herself and apologized. (Not
the reaction I probably would have had!) That one act (and much prayer) opened
doors for her gain permission to talk to the children about God. After the
family returned to their home in the foreign country, God arranged for the
nanny they hired to be a Christian and have an influence on the children.
With prayer
and God involved, those parents who object to the children knowing Him don’t
stand a chance! <smiling>
7.
Do you worry
about conditions in the world, our nation, and even families that could
drastically affect your grandchildren? What
is the best way to cover grandchildren in prayer when they are going in a
landmine of spiritual battles every day?
RENEE: I don’t know
if worry is a good word, because I have more faith in God’s ability to take
care of them than I do in them getting pulled in the wrong direction. I also
pray God’s armor of protection over them, as well as Psalm 91, and I have
taught them how to do the same. Along with praying for them, I think it’s vital
to be able to teach kids how to pray on their own. You won’t always be with
them or even know what is going on in their lives. I was so blessed to hear a
report of how my two youngest prayed for me, my husband, and their brother
during the fire here in Colorado Springs. They were at a friend’s house across
town, and the rest of my family was literally fleeing our neighborhood ahead of
approaching flames. They were worried about us, but they started praying
together, using Scripture, and having faith that God would take care of us.
Thank you so much for the interview, Ada. This has been really fun!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome. This is a subject so appropriate in these perilous times. Thanks for being my guests.
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