WORDS THAT ARE GIFTS

 Each Word a Gift

 By Ronda Knuth

“Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what     helps, each word a gift; Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4: 29, 31 (MSSG)

Life has seasons and this one was especially painful. No one I knew, or knew of, had successfully walked through this particular type of pain. Many cared, I’m sure they did, but few took the time to say so mostly, I’m certain, because they didn’t know what to say or do. A few threw scripture my way. I distinctly remember telling my mother, “If one more person quotes Romans 8:28 to me, I’m gonna scream.” Because it wasn’t true? No, because they were using it as a verbal Band-Aid to cover my gaping wound. And, I needed more.

What did I need? I needed someone to be present with me in my pain. I did not need them to minimize it or fix it. I needed a listening ear. A caring heart. A shoulder not a sermon. I needed someone who had been through the fire who could say to me, “You’re going to get through this. God is more than able. He is faithful. He’ll be with you like He was with me.”

A pat on the back, a word of affirmation, a tissue . . . sometimes the simplest expression soothes the deepest pain. Encouragement is key to walking alongside someone who is discouraged or hurting.  The Greek word for encouragement is “Parakaleo” to call to one’s side and help. In Latin it means, "Goes straight to the heart." Biblical encouragement walks alongside another and breathes hope, comfort and courage into the one who is struggling. As you encourage, consider the following:

1. Carefully choose the words you speak. “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Proverbs 25:11 (KJV)

2. Listen – with your ears and your heart. “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.” Proverbs 17: 27 (NIV) “Sometimes silence speaks loudest and presence brings the most comfort.”  (Wm. Paul Young)

3. Seek to understand the problem. Ask open-ended questions designed to draw the person: How do you feel about that? Did you feel frustrated at that point? What was most difficult for you to figure out? Advise sparingly and only after careful, thorough listening.  When you are tempted to turn the conversation to your own story remind yourself, "This is not about me."

4. You earn the right to say the more difficult things, it's not a given. Take time to foster the relationship. By doing so you are more likely to be heard when your words take the form of a gentle rebuke. "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel." Proverbs 27: 5-6, 9 (NASB)

Use your words as a gift to uplift, not a hammer to hurt.

Prayer: “Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim. (Proverbs 15:4). Let the words of my mouth and mediation of my heart be acceptable in your sight Lord. You are my strength and my redeemer. (Psalm 19:14). Amen”

Breathe: This Too Shall Pass - "In Breathe: This Too Shall Pass, Ronda has captured the isolation that so many of us feel in life’s experiences, and reminded us we are not alone. We can take the encouragement of this book, and find a resolve, that can lead us through the circumstances that seem to overwhelm us."- Dr. Vince Gappa

To buy Breathe click Here

Bio:

Ronda Knuth lives in Lakewood, CO, with her husband Rob. She is a mother of four, grandmother of four, and mother-in-love of three. Ronda is a freelance writer and a regular contributor to the Network 211.com, with many articles published on their Global Christian Center website. She is also a regular contributor in the United Kingdom, to The Way.co.uk on their subscription service daily devotionals; published online.

Ronda Knuth received the Sunrise Senior Living 2013 Western Region ‘Joy in Service Award’, The company recognized her dedication, to making the Sunrise Senior Living at Pinehurst Denver, Colorado, residents’ lives the happiest and best they can be. Her first published book, When Memory Fades: Sunrise Stories from Real People, is available in both print and Kindle editions.

Her second book, Breathe: This Too Shall Pass is also available in both print and Kindle editions.
“In Breathe: This Too Shall Pass, Ronda has captured the isolation that so many of us feel in life’s experiences, and reminded us we are not alone. We can take the encouragement of this book, and find a resolve, that can lead us through the circumstances that seem to overwhelm us.”- Dr. Vince Gappa

Her personal life story has been told in, "The Unmasking: Married to a Rapist" by author Kevin Flynn and in "The Triumph Book: Stories of Tragedy Turned into Triumph" by author Melanie Davis. Learn more about Ronda at her website: http://rondasrestingplace.net